The following questions are often asked of Doulas and might help you as you begin your exploration into the advantages of hiring a Doula to help you throughout your pregnancy, labour and delivery.
What is my philosophy of birth?
But I have already had a baby-can a Doula help?
I am having a hospital birth - will the staff be ok with a Doula?
What if I already have a midwife?
I want an epidural so do I still need a Doula?
My mom (sister...) will be there.
What is my philosophy of birth?
I believe that with few exceptions birth has the power to make women strong or, perhaps more accurately, to help them experience the strength that they may not have realized was always within them. A woman who is cared for and given the opportunity to control her own labour will hold her baby and feel that it was a thrilling experience. I think that a woman's body will tell her what to do, she just needs to listen and respond appropriately. This takes patience and practice.
Childbirth is not technical, it is natural, with the encouragement of a Doula you will be taught to trust your innate ability to bring your baby into the world. Birth is not scary, it is joyous and exciting! It is new life, strength, power, love, happiness, transformation.....
How can a Doula help?
The primary purpose of a doula is to attend to the mother's needs, in every way. I provide prenatal education and help the expectant mother/couple to practice coping strategies and exercises that will prepare them for labour. During labour I remains with you for the entire birth. The advantage of this is that while hospital staff come and go through shift changes, a doula stays continuously. This constant support is immensely valuable.
As your Doula I have a huge bag of tricks to help you and your partner manage the frequent changes and surges of labour. I am there to help you both emotionally and physically with information, massage, suggestions and just calm, quiet encouragement.
What about my partner?
Some partners worry that a Doula will somehow take their place during what is a very significant and intimate moment in their lives. This is far from the way things go. Partners have an extremely vital responsibility in the labour and birth. A baby comes from love and will be born into love. However to expect that a father will be able to understand and explain all the events that occur during this emotional and often demanding transition let alone have knowledge of methods to relieve anxiety and discomfort is expecting far too much of him.
As your Doula I will work with you and the father or partner as a team. Sometimes I am right beside you offering suggestions or demonstrating to the father what he can do to help you. At other times I am in the background merely making sure that you are both comfortable and are eating and drinking and offering either of you any assistance that you might need.
I have worked with couples where I have helped the expectant father almost as much as the mother.
But I have already had a baby - can a Doula help?
Mothers who have already experienced the birth of a child often harbour feelings of regret, dissatisfaction or even anger after a previous birth experience. Working with a Doula offers an opportunity to work through some of those feelings and to attempt to find some possible answers or at least to vocalize your emotions around the previous birth.
If a woman goes into a birth with anxiety brought on by bad memories or fear of the unknown, then she has a really good chance of having another negative experience. As a Doula I help to put this pregnancy, birth and delivery into context and reminds you that each woman, birth and baby is different.
A Doula is a valuable resource to help navigate the often intimidating world of obstetrics. With me in your back pocket you will fell EMPOWERED to advocate for yourself and understand that you have options.
I am having a hospital birth - will the staff be ok with a Doula?
Nurses love Doulas. We definitely make their jobs easier. Since we are there to help you understand what is going on and to minimize your concerns and discomforts, this makes for an easier birth, and therefore an easier patient. Nurses are often restricted on how much hands on help they can give due to staffing limitations, multiple patients and even sometimes personality conflicts. The effects of these conditions are significantly reduced in the presence of a Doula.
Bear in mind that a Doula doesn't have any clinical responsibility and that still leaves a lot for the nurses to attend to, but Doulas take a lot of the emotional work away from the staff.
What if I already have a midwife?
I love working with midwives since our philosophies are so similar. However, as with nurses and doctors, a midwife still has a great deal of clinical responsibilities. The other thing to remember is that a Doula will generally arrive before a midwife especially at a home birth to provide you with the emotionally and physical support you need before the clinical support is in place.
I want an epidural so do I still need a Doula?
While I am well versed in the many ways to help you have a natural birth, I have attended a great many birth were women have chosen medical pain relief. I reinforce time and time again during the visits leading up to the great day, that it is not my birth but yours. We work together to build an ideal plan and I help to ensure that you have information about all the alternatives.
Whatever your dream is of birth, I support you in that dream. I have no agenda and encourage women and their partners to remain flexible as labour and delivery progresses. If an epidural is part of your plan then I help you until that is in place and then remain with you for continued support and encouragement. Epidurals are best if received after labour is well established, so a Doula is still valuable to help you get to the point where you are able to get your epidural. Then in the event that it is not providing the relief you were hoping for or that you have questions, I am still there and will be during the delivery to assist and until after.
My mom (sister...) will be there.
Mothers are often a great source of female support and traditionally through history a mother/sister/cousin... would have been present during a woman's labour and birth. However today, these same sources of support are often no more equipped to provide the educational, experienced support that you need through the challenging stages of your labour than a first time mother.
Especially if you are aiming at a natural, unmedicated birth, a Doula gives you the tools you need. While your mother or sister may provide great encouragement and lots of love, an experienced Doula provides experienced, knowledgeable unbiased support to help you attain your most satisfying birth.